Hello I’m Jake!

Hello everyone, my name is Jacob Atwood, but I go by the name of Jake. I am from the very majestic and beautiful state of Utah, and I study at Brigham Young University-Idaho! Just a little about me, I love sports, the outdoors, making others laugh, singing (but only in the shower), listening to music and dancing like a fruitcake. I come from a large family of seven children, I am the second oldest (and coolest) out of my siblings. (see odd Christmas picture for proof below) I am also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, or also known as being Mormon. I love God and my religion, and I admire what those two things have done for my life.

Well now that you know a little about me, I guess I better explain why I set up this blog. (I mean you need to know why you are reading it right?) The reason that I have this blog is to discuss something of great importance for the whole world. Now when I say this, I absolutely, positively mean it! For everyone!

It does not matter what religion you are, what gender, what sexual inclination, where you are from, what race, or even what kind of jam you prefer on your toast for breakfast! What I will be posting on this blog is for everyone! And as I have thoroughly state above I mean it (Even those that like apricot jam on their toast are included.) I say this because what I will be talking about is something that everyone has an opinion about (no, I’m not talking about the recent presidential candidates.) But everyone has an opinion or belief about this subject, because we all have seen its influence in either our lives or the lives of others.

So know after reading this long paragraph about things that don’t even pertain to the subject at hand, you must be thinking to yourself, “would he just say the dang subject already?!” Well ladies and gentlemen, (drum roll please) the reason I have written this blog is to discover the family. Our world here is changing, whether we like it or not. And with that the family has been changed too. So my goal is that both you and I can discover the family for ourselves. What a family is for us as individuals, what it means to be part of this family, and how we can build our families to what we want them to be. That is what I hope to gain from this blog. I hope that you can feel the same after reading the insights, and commenting with others about what we will learn on this journey together. I know that all families are different, so I am going to need some of your comments and feedback (but I do ask that you don’t hurt my feelings) because it will help us all learn together, and know how we can strengthen our personal families. So now that you know what lies ahead I hope that you prepare yourself for it, because if we do this right, together, we can change our families for the better.

The Final Countdown

Hey everyone! So, I am at the last week of my semester here at BYU-Idaho, and I just took my final for my family class. So, basically this is my last blog post for the class. I just wanted to say how grateful I am for the opportunity to have taken this class, and learn from it. I also want to thank my teacher Brother Williams, he did a great job in being patient with me and helping me grow in his class, so I thank him for that.

Well, with all of that said, I sit here now, in front of my computer screen. I am thinking of what I should say in this last blog post, I am supposed to right about what I have learned from class. But, I have learned so much, it is hard to explain. My views on family have been changed, they have grown and extended. I understand so much more, than I ever have before about families, and this has helped me in my own personal family. If I could I wish I could just place everything I have learned on my blog and that you may all receive the same exact knowledge and experiences that I did during this semester. But, I realize that this is impossible.

Thinking about it now, a thought came to my mind, that I can’t transfer my experiences of my family and my class to you, but that you all have to learn for yourselves about your own families. You all need to live your OWN experiences with the ones that you love, and from that you will gain the knowledge that you need for you individual families. 

So, if I can give any advice, or any wisdom at all (being just a young college student) I would say live it up with the ones that you love. Live every moment with them, through the bad and through the good. Through it all, live it with them! Let them know that you love them, show them your love. Break down the barriers in your families that do now let you have this experience now. Reach out to those you love, but have never told. Now is the time to tell them how you feel! We only live one life, so why not live it to the fullest and with the ones that we love.

Something that has been on my mind these past couple of days is that we don’t really ever open up to one another. We don’t always reach out to those we love, because we think that they will judge us, or not reciprocate our actions. But, I know that they will truly appreciate it. I called a friend the other day, she told me about a super exciting event in her life, and I congratulated her with enthusiasm, and I told her how I felt about our friendship. That, I truly do love her,and that I am so glad that she came into my life and is my friend, and that I hope that she has the best life that she can ever have!

When I said these things I was a little hesitant at first, (I had never ever said anything like this) but I am so grateful I did. She told me that she too was grateful, and it was like the best feeling ever! We are even closer as friends now that I told her all of that.

So I guess if you can ever get anything out of my blog posts, or even this last one. haha, what I want to say is be real with people. Tell those you love that you actually do love them. This life is short so make it count, live every moment that you spend with your family and friends. I am so grateful for my family and friends, and all that they do for me! This has been such a good semester for me, it’sbeen so hard, but so good. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to blog. I’m sorry if you thought my posts were boring, but hey it was your own fault, you read them.

I love you guys, thanks for reading, have the best lives that you can! Be happy! Thanks again! Jake Atwood out!

 

 

 

 

The styles of parenting

Hey everyone for this week I want to focus on the topic of parenting. Even though most teenagers will say otherwise, parents play a very important role in the development of children, and also in society.

So what is the role of a parent? Well, it’s much more than what today’s cartoons and TV shows make it out to be. TV shows usually depict parents as people who don’t understand there kids, and that are there just for comic relief.

Parent really though have the role of protecting their children from outside dangers; also, they have the duty to prepare their children to thrive and strive in this world. So, that their children can become a help to society, not a menace.

So, now that we know what a true parents role is, let’s talk about the three different types of parenting styles and how they work.

The first style of parenting that I’m going to cover is called the “Autocratic” style of parenting. This style tends to be very strict, the parents want to know all about their child’s life, and closely monitor what they do, they are very restrictive and give punishments when the child does not behave in the manner of which they would like. They tend to use the word “no” too often. This style is so strict that the child may feel that they live under a dictatorship and that there is no freedom. This style of parenting protects the child too much, and does not help them prepare for their future.

The second style is the “Permissive” style of parenting. This style, like the name depicts, is very lenient. The parents aren’t very active in restricting the child, rather, they let the child have their way most of the time. They hardly use the word “no” at all. There usually isn’t any punishment or consequence for bad behavior. This type of parenting does not help the child be protected, and it does not help them prepare for their future.

The third style, is called the “authoritative” style of parenting. This style of is very effective, it helps the child know who is in charge, but also lets them have the freedom to make their own decisions with parental guidance. But, these parents also know how to use the word “no” and administer it with a healthy amount.  This type of parenting really let’s the child develop and grow. This style protects the child just enough, but helps them prepare for their own future to make their own decisions.

So, these are the three types of parenting, it is obvious that the best style is the authoritative style. This style also can be the hardest to know how to use, because there isn’t a perfect script of things to say to your child that will automatically work for your child and help them be the best person they can be. This is why parenting is so tricky, it can be a lot of trial and error. Also, another thing to take into account is that   not every child is the same, so the techniques used need to be varied based on the child.

My advice to parents, (please remember that this advice is coming from a 21 year old male without any children) is that the best way to parent your child is to be authoritative with them. You need to guide your child with love and affection, teach them what you know in a way that they can understand, and in a way that they will accept it as well. But, most importantly is to let them know that you love them, if a child is too controlled with autocratic parents (strict style of parenting) then they may not feel that their parents really feel love towards them. If a child feels that their parents are too permissive, they may not feel that their parents really even care about their lives at all.

With this blog post, I do not mean to degrade parents at all, I think that parents are the greatest people on the earth, I know that children don’t always understand the circumstances that the parents live in. So, I salute all of you parents, and I hope that what I wrote today can help out a little bit with your children. It is a difficult job being a parent, but I think that it is also one of the most rewarding. So thank you parents.

Please comment your ideas or experiences below. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

Family work, works…

Hey everyone Happy fourth of July! I hope that you all have a great weekend and that you all can enjoy your various activities this week!

So for my post this week I wanted to talk about something that is of great value for families, and we see that it is a need more and more in our days. I want to talk about family work. If we look back on world history we see that families worked together to be able to survive. In order to keep their families healthy, everyone had to put in their part to do the work. This was just part of their life, always working together as a family to support each other. And for most of the world the work that they did together was to keep them alive. They worked on the farm to produce food for the family, the worked in the forests to build shelters, most of the work that they did together was for survival.

In our time we don’t really live in these circumstances, where every family member is dependent on one another’s work for survival. Usually what happens, is that a father or mother goes and to work, and earns the income for the family that is needed to survive, There isn’t a lot of working out in the gardens and woods to create our own shelter and fight food now. Obviously this isn’t a bad thing, I am just saying that family work has changed.

In our society today, family work seems to have declined a little bit, depending on the family of course. But for the most part is has decreased, but why is family work so important? Well, family work has proven to help the family come closer together. When you work as a family you grow as a family. You learn how to rely on each other while working. I remember a time when I was moving furniture with my dad, one of the pieces was very heavy. If one of us would have dropped the side we were carrying, one of us could have gotten really hurt. So, we had to trust each other, and communicate to make the moving safe for both of us.

This is just an example of family work, we learn how to rely on one another, we learn to communicate better, we learn to trust one another. Family work helps the family become stronger! One quote that I really like from Helen Keller is, “alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” That is how it is with family, if they can learn to work together they can accomplish so much within their family.

Another point that I want to talk about with family work is being paid to work. My teacher in class on Thursday suggested that children should not be paid to do chores. I being a child still, totally disagreed with him. Haha, until he explained himself a little more. Children should feel like they are an important part of the family work, if they don’t feel this then they will end up not helping at all. If we bribe them with money, they will feel that they are only accomplishing a job, and not actually helping their family. Then, later when dad asks his son to go clean his room, the son may reply, “how much is that worth to you dad?” The child will begin to feel entitlement to being paid for every piece of work that he does around the house. This is not the goal of family work.

What does family work do for children? Well, on a personal level, family work has helped me out a lot in my life. It has taught me to appreciate my parents more, my things more, and also my money more. I think that it has also taught me to be a hard worker. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have the experience of working with my family, and all the lessons I have learned from it!

Thanks guys I hope you have a great fourth of July, and comment below your own experiences with work!

 

The Puzzle of Communication and Understanding

Well hello everyone! I hope all is well and that you all had a great father’s day last week! This week I want to touch up on something really important in any relationship. COMMUNICATION! Yes, we have all heard about this one before, many people believe that communication is key to a successful marriage. This has been talked about over and over, and well I’m going to talk about it just a little bit more!

So like I said before, in any healthy relationship communication is vital, but communication is much more than just saying words. We can talk all we want and never really communicate. The dictionary definition of real communication is the process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to exchange information or to express ones thoughts, ideas, or feelings. So as you can see communication is a lot more than just movement of the mouth. We can communicate in many other ways than just words, we all remember a time when we did something wrong, and or mom gave us “the look,” and we all know exactly what it meant. I never knew that “You are totally busted” could be said without words until that point in my life.

Although verbal communication is a big part of our lives, the tone of our words and non-verbal communication tend to influence us a lot more than the words we actually speak. Think about it, if someone crosses their arms and says “I love you.” in a mocking tone, would you really believe them? Obviously not! So the things that we say without using words really have a big effect on us. Now why is this important? Understanding how we use non-verbal communication and tones may really help us out in our relationships.

Now, unfortunately for us men, we have a harder time understanding non-verbal communication than women. It is proven that women can sense how a person feels or wants to express himself/herself based on their body language, much better than men can. Also, non-verbal cues can mean totally different things for men, than for women. A good example of this is that women are more likely to smile when they meet someone than men. So, for women smiling at someone can just mean that they are trying to be friendly and reach out. Now, for men, when a woman smiles at him, he is most likely to think that she feels an attraction towards him, when usually this is not the case. When I first heard this I couldn’t believe it. I thought that there were a bunch of girls that thought I was really good looking. Turns out I that was probably mistaken more than 50% of the time. Dang.

Misinterpretation of communication is actually a huge part of almost all the of the fights that people have within their marriage. If there was more understanding between couples there would be less fighting. Let me give you an example. John and Sally are a married couple, they like to go on monthly dates to keep things fresh in their marriage. But they are in kind of a bond financially at the moment, so Sally is concerned about their situation quite a bit. John is also concerned out the money, but thinks that maybe it would be good to go to a nice dinner to relieve some stress. When he presents his plan to his wife Sally he is genuinely excited. But s

 

he responds saying, “John, you know we can’t afford that right now.” John, a little let down by his wife’s response says, “Honey, it’ll only be this time. It’ll be fine.” Sally, thinking that John is unaware of their money struggles crosses her arms and says, “John, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” This really frustra

 

tes John now because he was really excited about taking her out, he only wanted to show her how much he cares about her. This thought really sets him off, and now angrily he says, “maybe our marriage wasn’t a good idea!” NOTE: (men, never say this to your wives.) This whole conversation turns into a hea

 

ted argument, and both spend the rest of the night alone, when they had planned on spending it together.

This may seem a little extreme but if there is a lack of communication, situations like this can really take place. Now what would have happened if both John and Sally would have said what they really felt? Sally loves her h

 

usband but thinks that they should save their money. John is crazy about Sally and only wanted to help relieve some of her stress. If they would have been able to express these true feelings of love for one another, do you really think that they would have gotten in a huge fight? Of course not! Now, they might

 

not have gone out to dinner still, but they wouldn’t have fought and they would have understood one another a lot better. Sally would have thought that it was sweet that John was thinking of her. And John would have understood that Sally did love the idea, and even more, her husband. I hope that this blog post can really help, sometimes there are fights that we can totally avoid, if we can learn to open up and say what we really feel, our relationships will be a lot better and stronger. Thank you so much for reading this excerpt. Have a great weekend and comment or share this blog with others thanks!!

 

Family Stress

Hey everyone, I hope all of you have had a great week! So, for this week’s post I want to talk a little bit about stress within a family

What is stress? The true definition of stress is pressure or tension put on a specific object. Stress is so important for us as human beings. Have you ever thought what it would be like to live a stress-free life? What would that be like for you? I think that many imagine laying on a beach without worries of money or work, just listening to the waves roll and being fed grapes form a vine. This for some might be the ideal stress-free life. But what happens to us when we are put in stressful situations? We don’t ever grow. There is something about stress that is essential in making us stronger as people, and more faithful as children of God.

An example of this are trees. Trees that are beat upon by the wind and the rain tend to be the strongest trees out there. There roots extend so far into the ground that they cannot be moved. When the wind or storm comes and beats on them, they stay strong in their place not giving in, or being rooted up. But what made these trees so strong? It was that same wind that blows on them to this day. Ever since they had begun to grow the wind (stress) was there, so to deal with this stress the trees dug their roots even deeper into the ground to remain stable. Now, when the trees are fully grown the wind hardly even shakes them. The same thing happens to us when we are encountered by stress, we have a chance to dig our roots deeper and become stronger for the winds and storms of this life.

Now with that said I would like to share an experience that I had this week. For my class, we had to come up with a list of some of the situations that could put stress on families. These situations could be from my personal life, or from the lives of people that I know. So, I took this opportunity to call up some of my family and friends, and ask them what were sometimes of great stress within their family lives. So, each one of the people that I asked opened up about their lives and told me about tough times in their family. Some of the stories caught me completely off-guard. There were some pretty hard things that had happened in their lives, and so I asked them what their first thoughts were when these things happened. One said, “I felt like my heart dropped from my chest.” Another said, “just thinking about it makes me cry.” When I heard about these events I was really shocked, these were obviously some very difficult situations to them.

But then something that I didn’t expect would happen took place. Every one of the people that I talked to mentioned how they grew from their experiences. How this stress helped their family draw closer to one another, and how they were able to work through it. I didn’t ask for this to happen, but for some reason everyone felt inclined to tell me. They were acting just like the trees and deepening their roots further in the ground. Making it so the wind would have little or no effect on them. This experience of getting people’s insight on their own problems was really cool. I learned a lot from it, many of us think that stress is a bad thing, and it sure can be. But, I feel like there is so much good that can come out of the stress that is put on the family. This good of course, will only come if we can handle the stress well, but I think that if we can learn to work with our families through these hard times we might even be grateful for them in the long run.

So, the next time you are put in a stressful situation, think about how you can grow from it, how you can get closer to your family through this experience, or even how you can get closer to others! If it has not come yet, there will come a time when we will be hit with the wind and storms, just like to the trees. This happens to everyone, it is inevitable. But, when we get hit with these storms of life, we need to hold on to each other and work hard to get through it.

To finish, I want to share a quote that I heard in class this week, I think that someone said it was from the sesame street character “Elmo.” Anyways, he said that, “when money’s tight, hug tighter.” I think that is so great, we may not always have stress with money, but the principle is the same, with stress comes we need to hold to our loved ones. This will help us through the hard times, I know it will:)

Thanks so much guys, and hey I know I say this every week, but please comment your experiences. How have you worked through stressful times with your family? Share these ideas, it will only lift others up! thanks so much have a great week!!

It’s time to talk

Hello Everyone happy weekend! So, this week I want to talk about something very interesting, I want to warn everyone ahead of time that this may be a sensitive topic for some. I will be talking about sex education for children. If you are not comfortable reading about this topic, I would advise that you do not read this weeks post.

We have all seen that classic movie scene when a little kid will ask an adult (usually their parents) where do babies come from. The scene almost always shows the parent turn bright red and avoid the question. Now, where do I want to go with all of this? Most of us, when we were little have heard adults talk about things that we didn’t quite understand. These discussions would lead us to some questions that we might have about the subject. For example, “where do babies come from?” This question being harmless and innocent.

Then, when we asked an adult about these questions, we may have noticed that the adults seemed to be shy or even embarrassed by the question, and would resist to talk about this topic. Telling us either to ask our mom, or to wait until we are older (dads are really good at these kinds of responses). But, because children don’t just leave their questions unanswered, they would search for their questions else where.

This is the usual pattern that we see with how our society handles sex education.  In my class these week, our teacher asked us how many of us received the talk from our parents; almost no one in the class raised their hand. Very few of children nowadays are educated in one of the most important aspects of life from there parents.

Now, many people may think that this is not a big deal, but that’s why I wanted to talk about this today. I want to talk about where kids learn about sex, and how that is different from learning from their parents.

So now I pose a question, if kids don’t learn about sexual relations from their parents, where do they learn it from? Think about it,if your parents won’t give you an answer to one of your questions, who would you ask? It’s obvious that you would most likely ask your friends. Now, why is it bad that kids learn from other children about sex? Well, children are a lot less mature than adults and may be misinformed about sex and what it really is, and why it’s important. Imagine if you had a child of your own. Would you really want them to learn about sex from their friends? Of Course not! This can lead to misconception about the intimacy of sex, and the importance of it. This can lead to premarital sex, to indulgence in pornography. It is not a good thing that

But, children don’t only learn from friends about sex, they also can have the opportunity to learn about sex, in their sexual education health class. These classes can be very beneficial in helping a child understand a little more about sex, and the importance of abstinence which is important. But, something that the class does not necessarily help with is the intimacy of sex, and what it can offer in a real relationship. Also, it teaches kids how to use contraceptives, teaching them “safe sex.” This can be good on the side that they can stay away from STD’s and unwanted pregnancy, but it gives them a sense of liberty pertaining to sex. Meaning that they don’t feel that there is any consequence to having premarital sex.

Now, if a parent can sit down with their child, and explain to them what sex is, and why we have it. When kids are confronted by their friends and at school pertaining to these things they will know the truth about sex. They may even be able to influence their friends in abstaining from sexual relations before marriage. Also, another benefit is that they will trust in their parents more, and be able to talk about their questions and concerns about this subject. This will not only help your children in their sexual life, but also the relationship that they have with you will be enhanced, because they can trust you.

It is important that parents take action in their child’s sex life, and talk with them and explain sex to them. It may be slightly uncomfortable to talk with a child concerning this matter, but it is quite beneficial in the long run. Talking with your child about sex could save them a lot of problems in their lives, we should take action and help the future generations be aware of this important part of life.

Thanks everyone! make sure to share your thoughts about this weeks post!

Marriage… the final frontier

Hello everyone! So last weekend I posted a little bit about dating and the four stages of dating. So this week I want to talk a little bit about the early stages of marriage, and the tasks that the new couple has together.

So, after a couple goes through the stages of dating, they decide to “get hitched” and start a life together. After the wedding day the couple will most likely engage in something that we call “a honeymoon.” In a marriage this is a very important factor, this is when the couple becomes an independent couple. They plan together, the work together, and they live together for this short period of time, they are completely independent of their parents for the first time. The honeymoon is where a couple leaves as two young lovers, and comes back and a single family unit.

And this is when their journey as a new couple begins, now they have to work as this single family unit. Now, as a new couple there will be some tasks that they need to accomplish within the first few months of marriage. One of these important tasks that they need to accomplish is that of communication. Many people say that communication is the key to a successful marriage, the new couple needs to learn to have an open and honest communication with one another. This way they will be able to resolve many of the challenges that await their home. Another task that has to do with communication is budgeting, the new couple should talk and decide on what type of lifestyle they are going to live, and manage their money together.

With the management of money also comes the decision of the roles of the marriage. Who will be the breadwinner? And who will be the homemaker? The breadwinner is the person that provides for the family, and the homemaker is the one usually who is in charge of the housework. Back in the 1950’s it was evident that the man would be the one who goes to work to “bring home the bacon”, while the women would care for the kids and do the housework. In our days, we see that these two roles are very interchangeable. The women may work, and the men may be in charge of the house. Or, there might even be a mixture of both. It is the new couple’s responsibility to decide on these marital roles, whichever they may be. There is no wrong way per se, but it is important that there be roles established in order to be organized as a couple.

Along the lines of the roles of the family, there will also be a need for a couple to adapt to living with one another. This could be what foods they eat, how they do the laundry, or even how they sleep together. These simple things can become very important issues within a couple if not talked about and decided. There was a story that I heard about a man and his wife. They were having trouble sleeping together at night because of the sleeping habits of one another. The man wanted to sleep in the coldest environment that he could. He did not like the heat at night because it made him unable to get a good rest at night. The wife on the other hand loved getting as warm as possible when she slept. So, to prepare for bed she would wrap herself up in the blanket and drift off to sleep, and he would not be able to sleep at all because of the warmth that she put off at night. So, he would move away from her in order to feel cool as he slept. This happened for many nights, when the wife said that her husband did not love her. He thought how could this be that he did not love her. But, she explained that he didn’t like to sleep with her at night. He chuckled a little bit and told her that she was “too hot” for him. After giving his wife that compliment, he went on to explain how he liked to sleep. They then understood each other and were able to fix this issue.

Things like this are important tasks to take care of in the early stages of marriage so that there are not any problems in the long run. There are many other tasks to early marriage, but the most important one is being one. President Gordan B. Hinckley stated that this is the key to a successful and prosperous marriage. The Bible also says that Adam and Eve became “one flesh,” meaning that they were one. Becoming one with your spouse will at an early setting of marriage will last for the rest of your lives as a couple.

Now, I have been talking about the early stages of marriage, but I believe that this principle stands for all. No matter how far along you are in your marriage, if you want your marriage to be happier, learn how to become one with your spouse. This will help you both come closer to one another, be better parents, manage you money better, etc. So many thing will become better if you and your spouse can become as one. It will make the marriage even more satisfying than it is now. Remember that we do not marry just to be married. But, we do it because we love the person that we marry and we want to be happy with them. I know what has been discussed here will increase the happiness of marriage. It’s in the Bible people, it’s gotta be true!

Thanks so much and have a great weekend!

The importance of dating

Hey everyone I hope that you all have a great memorial weekend! It’s always important to remember those who came before us, and the example they have set forth so that we may learn and benefit from them.

This week I wanted to talk about something that has a big impact on the whole world! Especially on college students though. This week I am talking about dating. Yes you heard right, dating. How does that have anything to do with families? Well, if it weren’t for dating there wouldn’t be families.

So what is dating? When we think of dating we probably think of a young man who asks a young woman to spend a few hours of her night with him at a movie theater, where he will pretend to be “tired” and “stretch” putting his arm around her. But, dating is actually a lot more complex than Hollywood makes it seem, and a little more simple than us men make it seem. A date is when a person asks another person to join them in an activity, (movie, hike, dancing etc.) in order to learn more about each other. There are three important factors of a date, they are called the “three P’s of dating.” Planned, Paid for, and Paired off. The date should be “Planned” ahead of time, so that the couple can have an order to their date. The date should also be “Paid for” by the person asking the other out (doesn’t need to be expensive). Lastly, the couple should be “Paired off,” meaning that both persons on the date actually KNOW that they are on a date (this is very helpful), and that they can focus on each other and learn more about one another.

All of these “P’s” are very important in dating. Now, why is dating important? It is important for many reasons, one of them being the opportunity to meet new people. Yes, it’s really true! You go on dates to get to know someone better, to know their interests, hobbies, how they are, where they are from, etc. This is a major part of dating, it is not just to fall in love with people, but also to know people. Dating helps you see what kind of qualities you want your future spouse to have.

And just as you suspected dating is important in order to find that special someone who you can start your family with. But, this doesn’t mean that once you find that person dating stops. Couples should still date when they are courting, and also after marriage. This proves to be very healthy for the relationship and helps the marriage be stronger and last longer.

There are actually for stages to dating, all of which are very important in building a relationship with someone.

1. Dating – This is defined as when a person goes on multiple dates with multiple people and tries to get to know them.
2. Courting – This is defined as two people who are now dating exclusively, and not seeing other people.
3. Engagement – After a couple has had sometime to court, they decide on getting engaged in preparation to marriage.
4. Marriage – After all of the stages of dating, a couple decides to legally get married and start a family together.

All of the stages above should have the 3 “P’s” of dating. Many people think that after they become “facebook official” they don’t need to go out on dates anymore, they instead hang out together and skip out on dating. This is incorrect, couples should keep going on dates even after they are committed to each other. Believe it or not, but dating helps fortify the relationship and helps the couple really get to know each other and enjoy each other’s company. Going out on dates will help a relationship flourish, no matter what stage of dating you are in. It could be that you are just starting to get to know someone, or your twenty years into marriage, dating should be a focal point in your relationship.

Thanks so much and don’t forget to comment below!!

Men and Women, and Gender roles

Hello everyone! I hope that your Mother’s Day weekend were all good. This week, I wanted to explain something that is really important for us to know.

To give you some perspective, I just wanted to say that I do this blog for my Family Relations class here at BYU-Idaho. It is an assignment for me that I write weekly about the topics discussed in class. I try not to make my posts merely another assignment, but I put thought and detail into what I talk about. Although, to some of you that read my blogs it doesn’t seem like it. Haha, I know that sometimes I may not be so convincing, but I really do try hard on these blogs.

I know you’re probably thinking “why is this guy actually publishing this on a post?” or “what does this have to do with anything?” Well I will now address this subject. So, like I said, we are supposed to post about the topics we learn in class. And, well this week we have talked about some very controversial and delicate topics in today’s world. This week in class we talked about the roles of gender in society.

As you can see this topic can be extremely difficult to discuss without offending someone and their personal beliefs, and this is where I have some trouble. I have thought long and hard about what to post today, and after thinking about it, I realized that the best thing to do is to be honest with you all…

Look, I am only 21 years old. I am just another college student, striving to get an education so that my future can be bright. I honestly don’t know much about all of the controversy with “gender” nowadays. I read somewhere that there are around 63 declared genders now. I honestly don’t really know how that works, and I am not the one to judge people who have these beliefs. I consider myself to be pretty ignorant on this topic. But, I will say that I was raised to believe that God created man and woman, and together they were commanded to procreate and populate the world. I was taught that men and women are equal. Men should not be dominating to women and vice versa. Something that I also believe is that equal in this instance does not mean the same. Men and women are very different from one another. Some disagree with this, and that’s fine, but if we look at the biology of the two genders we see differences. It is said that men tend to be more logical thinkers in nature than women; women tend to be more intuitive and emotional thinkers than men. This is just one example of the many differences that we see in many between men and women.

I think that it is important that there are differences in genders, because I believe that this helps in relationships between the two. They each are important in a family, and have specific roles. I would even venture to say that both men and women we were created to compliment each other. Together they can create better homes and better lives for children. Could you  imagine living in your home without your mother or your father? I couldn’t and honestly wouldn’t want to. There are children who do grow up that way, and many times it is a huge influence on their mentality.

I believe that men and women were meant to be equal but have different roles within a home, and this can be determined by each couple. The innate behaviors given to each of us was meant to create balance. From the logical thinking men to intuitive, nurturing women, not only is there balance in the family dynamic but society as well. We were made this way so that we can progress. Just like if you were to do a school project with another class mate. They may have better ideas on certain things, and on others you may have more experience. If working together, the project will turn out great, if working against each other the project will fail. So it is between men and women, if we work together the outcome will be something that we can be proud of. If we work apart it will not be as great. Both men and women may see things differently, but if the strengths of both are added together that is where success will come in.

Thanks so much, have a great week and don’t forget to comment your thoughts and/or feelings below!

Parental Guidance Suggested

Happy Mother’s day everyone! I hope that we can all remember our Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, and Sisters over this weekend. How grateful we should be for these amazing women in our lives! Well with that statement I would like to dive into my topic today. But, first off I would like to thank my Mother for all that she has done for me, I don’t know where I would be without her love, wisdom, and kindness towards me. She definitely has helped me become the man that I am today.

Now that I got all sappy on you I want to talk a little bit about the importance of Mothers and Fathers, and really the role of parents in a child’s life. I know that not every family has a Mother or a Father as an active participant in their family system, but each of us may have had a parental figure in our lives. That could include, grandparents, uncles aunts, cousins, or even brothers or sisters that have acted like parents in our lives.

Think for a second about who the parents are in your life, this could be your biological Father or Mother, or it could be someone who has taken upon themselves the role of being your parent. Think of these people or, this person, what do they mean to you? Imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t have them in your life? Would you act differently? Would you have different perspectives of life?

Our parents, although not perfect, can influence our lives greatly. Frederica Ehimen, a Fashion blogger and radio talk show host said, “Parenting is the biggest sacrifice one can make, it’s putting your life on hold to fulfill the promise of your children’s tomorrow’s.” If we think about what our parents really go through raising us, it is truly a sacrifice. It’s tough work being a parent, and the sad thing is that usually we do not truly appreciate our parents until we no longer live with them.

The effect of a parent is huge on an individual, it is very important that the parent stay involved in the child’s life. Many studies and research suggest that the influence of a parent is crucial in the development of a child, and can effect the success that the child has in his/her future endeavors. Parents can really change the future for their children depending on how they are involved in the lives of their children. The studies show that the closer the children are to their parents the less likely they are to be involved in drugs, premarital sex, alcohol, and criminal activities. So, parents truly have a great responsibility to raise children and help them have a better life.

Some of us may pass through rough patches with our parents, but without them we may not be where we are today. Parents are so crucial for our development as kids, and I am so grateful for mine. Sure we didn’t always get along the greatest, but now that I am living on my own I am starting to understand what my parents tried teaching my as a kid. These things have helped me make better decisions, and have a better plan for my future. I am so glad that I grew up with parents who loved me enough to teach me what was right or wrong. They have changed my life!

I challenge I would like to extend is that this mother’s day weekend to call up your parents, or parental figures and tell them how much you appreciate them in your life!

Comment your experiences below!! Thanks so much! Happy Mother;s day!